Who to blame? | 30052016

Hey guys.. It’s been awhile since I wrote something here. Life is so busy, it is really hard when you’re in semester break 😛 Yeap.. I am on semester break right now till next month which gives me plenty of time to procrastinate everything that I should be doing like writing this.

Today I plan on writing about suicide and who’s fault it is. At the end of this post, I would love if you guys tell me who is it to blame on. To me committing a suicide simply means when someone couldn’t bare with the pain or problems that they are facing. But that doesn’t make them a coward. To me at least. Although I know many of you out there has this opinion when someone suicides, they are labelled as a coward. But I don’t see at which point of life they become a coward. Trust me, suicide would have been their last choice to go to.


They wouldn’t have committed suicide if they had other choices to go to. Don’t tell me that there’s always a way to solve whatever problem that comes. I don’t trust in that seriously. I would give so many examples but it would only bore you guys up.

So let’s see.. They didn’t have much trust on their friends and family members. And what caused this? So when they didn’t have any trust on their friends and family, they end up turning to the last unwanted choice: SUICIDE. Now when this is the case, what rights do we have to call them a coward when all the humanity around them is gone. Whose fault is that? Yes, some may say that our life, our choices but then again isn’t the main purpose of our life in this world is to show love to one another? To show that we care for everything in this world. Now, I’m not telling that I am a saint in this, I do have my own flaws but tell me, isn’t all that the main purpose of us being in this world? I’ve gone to some point of suiciding myself but I had my reasons to be alive xD (We’ll talk about this next time)

Now, what would this poor guy or girl do when they lose faith in everyone around them and they are burdened with this problem. Of course, suicide would have been their choice. This is their life, as much as it can be painful to everyone around them.. This is what they chose. If you’re gonna tell that ‘No, they shouldn’t have done that, there would have been a better way to solve it’, then where were you when they were having all these problems. Where were you when these guys or girls who chose to commit suicide.

Guys.. I wrote this not to justify anyone or their life choices. But I just want everyone to know that if humanity and love towards everyone are still in all of us, there would be fewer cases of suicide. Trust me, love is so strong that it has the power to do anything.

I think that’s all for today. I am sorry if this post is not as nice, I know everything is not in order, I am not feeling well >< I chose the wrong time to fall sick. Do comment below guys. I am eager to hear your opinion. Till next time 🙂


The Next Second.. | 120516

Hello, everyone! It has been a few days since I wrote my last post. I have been really busy these few days. I had done a few shopping, eating and sleeping. Trust me, it is not that easy to do all these, I will elaborate more on these next time. So it seems like the heat wave which has been all over Malaysia has decreased and we are blessed with the acidic rain. And knowing Malaysians, I am waiting for the time when people start cursing the rain for causing flood and traffic jams everywhere (We all know it’s true).

Thanks to the rain, a few days ago my dad had to leave to Johor for a sudden meeting trip and me being a good son, went to KL to send some of his clothes. And mom didn’t let me to bring the car because it was raining too heavily so she thought I probably will get accident and die XD So I thought why not take the Rapid bus, it has been quite awhile. For my foreign readers, Rapid is a company which provides bus services all over Kuala Lumpur.


And for the first time ever, I saw that a lady was actually being the bus driver :O OMG TRUST ME, I immediately had this respect for her when I saw this. I mean like, I have been taking Rapid bus since I was 13 years old back in Penang, and not even once there was a female driver. I was like finally the ladies are getting their equal rights. At the same time, there was this guy from India who couldn’t speak the national language so he asked me where it Taman Mawar. Me being an idiot, I asked the bus driver who was the lady I mentioned just now AND BITCH, SHE WAS HELL FUCKING RUDE! I fucking asked her so politely and she was just replying me so rudely. I don’t know if she was being rude because the guy from India was just a foreign worker and she degraded him or anything, but trust me, I can still feel how angry I was when she was being so rude.

I was really surprised because in the beginning I had this huge respect for her and the next second I felt so fucking disgusted that there are people like this in this world. Now don’t shoot me with “Oh, she is just having a bad day ” blah blah blah. All of us have our own bad days, but that doesn’t mean we should treat others really bad. Bitch, I paid you my fucking money and it was just one question that I asked to help the poor guy, I didn’t ask you to get naked and do a pole dance in the middle of the bus (Wait, no.. That would have been a nightmare).

I didn’t know if she was being racist towards me because after that I realize she was being fine with the other passengers. I know you’re just a bus driver and you should be sending passengers on and off but no one fucking asked you to be polite or rude. Just answer them normally is more than enough. Like how hard is that gonna be.. I decided that she was being a bitch so I just ignored it. Then at night I took the Metro bus service, and trust me, I was so shocked at how polite the bus conductor was. (And note this, this guy had holes in his jeans with long hair.) He was so good to all the passengers, unlike the experience I faced in the morning.

You see.. it just takes one second to change your perception towards something. One second you find this thing beautiful and the next second you wish you had never seen something like that before in your life. Like it never cost us anything to be polite with each other, okay I am not always polite to someone but I am never rude also. If you read my previous posts, you guys would have known that I believe in the concept of one love where all of us in this world should love and protect one another. But looks like maybe I will never see that happening.

I could keep on ranting about these but you guys would probably get bored. Hahaha! Do tell me if any of you guys faced experiences like this before. I would love to hear it.

P/S: I am open to any suggestion to improve my blog in any aspects. Feel free to tell me.

My Weird Ability | 090516

Hey guys.. It has been awhile since I wrote something here. That’s because as usual I was lazy (Yes, I know I shouldn’t be) and I had too lot of TV shows to finish watching. Recently I started with The Family Guy and LOST. Besides, there are many YouTube videos that I have been watching. And I realize that I want to talk about something related to that in today’s post.


Sympathy and empathy. These two-word may seem to be similar but they aren’t. What I understand is sympathy means the feeling of pity towards someone’s misfortune and empathy means the capacity to feel what someone else is feeling or the ability to share and understand what someone else is facing or feeling (Correct me if I am wrong). So I believe that I develop this ability to errr feel? empathy towards others. I know perhaps many people could do this but I think my condition is getting worse every time.

It is like this, every time I watch any sad videos or social experiments on YouTube, Facebook or any social medias, I tend to put myself in that situation, and at times I force myself to be in that situation. I know it is weird but yeah this is happening for the past few years. There was this one time, I was watching this video where the guy is going to die in one month time and I put myself in that situation and believe me for 5 seconds, I was actually feeling so worse and thought that I was going to die then I started crying. That 5 seconds was really weird, it felt like I was someone else just for that 5 seconds.

This is getting really bad and some part of me is okay with this and some part of me isn’t. Another thing is every time I feel what I see people feeling and facing, I develop this guilt that I can’t do anything to make it better. I can’t do anything to change their life. And this makes me to cry. Yes call me weak but I don’t know if I can overcome it after all this time.

I don’t know guys.. I just felt like writing about this. Maybe some of you guys are facing the same? Tell me in the comments below.

When an Indian guy/girl can’t speak Tamil properly | 020516

Tamil, Language, Asia, Ceylon

Language is something that can connect us all together and in the same time, it can also divide us into certain groups. Many of you who don’t know (Or I am sure all of you), I started my preschool at the age of 5. YES PEOPLE, DON’T JUDGE ME. Before that according to my Amma, she told me that I speak fluent Tamil with everyone around me. But then as I was studying in English, soon enough my Tamil had this weird slang in it. (You guys know how this slang is) My parents started talking with me in English and emphasizing me to learn it more. Time passed and I barely speak Tamil with anyone except for my grandparents who I meet every once in a blue moon. But nevertheless, I was still trying to speak the language whenever I can. No one said anything because of how I speak Tamil.

And then I moved on to primary school where I still continue talking Tamil with all my Indian friends. And trust me when I say this, almost everyone laughed at me hearing how I speak the language. All I could do was just stay quiet and hope that their face is crushed under a giant wall. This went along for 6 years, and it made me really awkward to talk with my Indian friends. They always end up laughing and teasing me. There goes my confidence to talk in Tamil from 100% to 80%. Things never change much when I was in secondary school. The same thing happened till I lied to my friends that I can’t speak Tamil. Don’t judge. My lower secondary life was a horrible one thanks to some pathetic humans. Every time I use Tamil to converse with my friends, they end up telling me not to talk in Tamil because it seems I was ‘disgracing’ the language. Until now, nothing changed when I moved on to higher secondary and polytechnic.

“Kiri, don’t talk in Tamil with us. I feel like laughing”

I do talk with my Indian friends but thanks to them, I really felt like I was being ignored because I can’t converse with them in Tamil. I can’t speak it fluently but I was trying my best. I wanted to uphold my mother tongue. At least I was doing all I can despite how funny my Tamil is. So am I actually embarrassing the language? No, I am not. Being in Malaysia, we tend to converse with each other in many languages. When I talk with my Malay friends, I won’t deny that I do have some pronunciation problems here and there, and my friends laugh because of that. They correct me but NEVER once asked me to stop talking to them in Malay. And mind it, this is not my mother tongue. I still talk with them in Malay despite all those errors I am doing. Now, I am not talking bad about Indians or anything but generally, this is what I face since I was 7 years old.

When someone can’t speak a certain language, it is alright to laugh (Because that’s what friends are for, to humiliate you) but do not ask them to stop talking the language. You are actually not helping them at all. The world is increasing in every part every single year and it is our duty as a human to protect what our ancestors left for us. Try to compare this, a guy who speaks Tamil fluently, a guy who can speak Tamil moderately, and a guy who can barely speak Tamil, among all of them, who’s the worst? None of them are. I believe the guy who is the worst among everyone is the one who asks someone to stop speaking the language. By doing this, this guy is actually reducing the number of people who wants to speak in Tamil with everyone else. How is this not disgracing the Tamil language?

Language can really connect us together as a human. But can you guys see how it will actually break people to certain groups? A group who speaks Tamil fluently and another who barely speak Tamil with one another thanks to those who degrade them. And I certainly believe this issue is getting worse nowadays as many of us are using English to converse with one another. This is a sad truth, but we are able to survive without knowing Tamil our entire life as an Indian. But should we do that? No. It is our duty to uphold the Tamil language no matter how we speak it as long as our intentions are right. If you want to uphold the Tamil language, try to teach other and motivate them regardless of how their Tamil slang is. If you want to uphold the Tamil language, stop using and creating all those bad words to define something. Because that is what disgraces the Tamil language or any other language there is in this world. But never tell someone to stop speaking the language.

This is our language and mother tongue. No matter how we speak it with or without slang, we should be proud that someone is actually trying to speak it.

P/S: Guys, I am not sure if I am overwriting my posts in the blog. I know that we should not write a lot in blogs or readers might get bored. So please tell me if I am writing too much. Thanks 🙂